I’m so excited :)

I am so excited…this evening my newest team member called to let me know that she got her Wellness box today & she was surprised to get some extra stuff in the box that she didn’t order. She started listing the extra stuff that she got & I looked it up & it was Winter Defense Pack! they are offering for free for all new members that enroll in the month of December…dang it…i should have waited 🤣😂 it was so cool that i got to share that with her. So, for those who might be thinking about it…..don’t wait too long. A great business to be a part of, no way for it(**strictly in my opinion of course) to saturate your area because EVERYONE has to shop..we need products every day & this is everyday items Plus 670 retail partners for other needed items. And if your a preferred customer you can get some of the same benefits & discounts as you would if you were a member. BUT if you signed up as preferred member to do this as a business then you get bonuses, discounts & more.
This month is $1 to sign up on a trial basis & if you do your first 35 order then you get the germ fighting kit for free..
How cool is that?
Probably about as cool as my youngest getting to go to see the Nutcracker ballet tonight with her friends. First time & she really enjoyed it. 
Anyway, hope y’all have a great night.


Had to make some changes to my post :o)


I DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

For many or most of you, this won’t matter to you…….but for me & anyone else out there like me. This is a HUGE milestone/accomplishment.

I have a fear of public speaking, of making a cold call as it’s called…I call it, calling a stranger. But I literally panic. My heart races, I shake a bit, get major nervous….I basically freak out.

When I was in Jr. High, High School, College. (20 some to 30 some years ago) I was scared to death about being in the spotlight & have everyone’s attention (good or bad) on me & of course in those younger day’s you had the moron’s who thought they were cute & funny & would ridicule anyone standing up doing a speech.

Well…….depending on what kind of job you have, you might have to talk to people. YIKES!!!! Well, I recently started with an E-Commerce company & you have to talk to people about the company & what benefit’s & bonus’s & deals they’ll get from being a member & then hopefully sign them up for their own personal store. Which is such an awesome deal. (I just took advantage yesterday or some benefits & got $2.00 off + earned .75% back in loyalty shopping dollars to be used in my store, so instead of paying nearly $12 bucks for some business cards, I paid less then $9 & earned some $ to spend in my store. WIN WIN

ANYWAY…….. (I’m actually kind of nervous now, talking about how nervous I was)…So, my enroller had been trying to do the Overview with a lady that requested some more info. for about a week. Either we kept getting an answering machine or she was having computer difficulties or we were…..it was very irritating on the computer stuff.

So……anyway…….I’m irritated about all the computer problems that we seemed to be having for the last several days (& last night was no different..grrr). But I put my foot down & I was like……..”This is enough…..” So, I sat down at my computer opened ALL the windows on my browser that would have everything to do the presentation with & my store front & my back office & some other things. My heart is still racing fast, I get the hiccups as I’m dialing, which adds more anxiety to my already anxiousness.

The lady answers…..It’s go time.


I talked to her 2 days ago for 41 minutes about everything, including the business….so I thought……day 2 should be easy peasy as I don’t have to actually talk….just play a video (insert computer technical difficulty that finally stopped everything after 33 minutes of a 43 minute video)….Crap…now what? SO, there goes my blood pressure (through the roof again), anxiety hitting….where’s my Recruiter or husband when you need them…..OH NO!!! I’m gonna blow this, I’m going to mess this up…..PLEASE LORD HELP ME THROUGH THIS!!!!!! PLEASE!!!!!!  

I DID IT…..I got through the presentation, I screwed up a lot. BUT!! I DID IT!!! I have to call her Saturday to help her sign up for her own store site.


It still scares me. But now I can say that *I* did it!!


Life Changing…….

I just made a decision that could & will change my life as I know it now………for the better.

I’ve never been apart of something like this & I don’t think you have either.  I normally wouldn’t use this type of forum…….but why not? We’re all looking for ways to better our life, right?

Well, why not use the forum that we share our life with, to share how we’re going to improve on it.

I don’t know about you, but I’m tired.

Tired of being constantly broke, constantly financially struggling, tired of always telling my kids no or not right now or its going to be a little while or or or or……….or whatever excuse that you use is.

like tonight……we had to use money out of our Mortgage account so I could put gas in my truck & had to use the money out of my paypal account I was saving to use to pay for some herbal & essential Oil courses that had to be saved instead for my husband’s VA Dr’s appt the day after tomorrow to buy some grain for my pigs. Then we had to pick up some extra stuff from the grocery store for tomorrow in anticipation of 5 extra people & we could get all that I wanted to get other wise we’d had to use the money for our house payment or trip money & be short.

I just wanted to break down & start bawling…….I’m so tired of this stupid cycle……are you?

Well, while I am still currently in this cycle, I hope not to be much longer. I joined a company that has been changing people’s lives for 34 year? It’s the only company that I’ve ever heard of or known that is a Debt Free company & has been since the beginning. And you earn money for every day shopping…….I am not a shopper, I dread going to the grocery store, let alone the clothing store (I really hate this one). But I love the options & benefits that they give their members…..that no one else (that I know of) does.

I thought that I’d go ahead & share this amazing life changing opportunity with all of you, because I know that you’d like to earn more then what your making, even just a little bit could make a difference in your life. Am I right? Of course I am…..

So click here & start on your life changing adventure with me now.

What? you don’t think you can do it? Why not? Give it a shot. If there’s anything you’ve wanted to have some extra money for …..buying new shoes, buying clothes, gas to take a trip on, go out to eat more frequently, buying a cup of coffee? Pay a bill, get out of debt all together, go back to school to finish a degree (OOOOH OOOH that’s me…hand is up). Take some other courses, such as Herbal or Essential Oils (hand is up again).

Or you want to get divorced, but your stuck because of finances (hand goes up again…..that’s been my main reason for not filing for one several years ago).

Just give IT a shot…..you have absolutely nothing to lose.

Well, I’m off to get the Turkey in the cooker so it’s ready for tomorrow.

Hope y’all have a WONDERFUL day…even if you don’t celebrate Thanksgiving 🙂

1-888-396-9990  listen to a pre-recorded message & tell me what you think…..nothing to lose



I wanted to send off a post before the big day, because I may not have time or may have lost my sanity before the day is even 1/2 over, so it’s best to write now. ;o)

I think it’s been or close to being 40 or 41 years go, my most favorite cousin in the whole world was killed in a motorcycle wreck on Thanksgiving. It was hard for me for a while to find joy in this day again. A few Thanksgiving’s we would go over to my Aunt’s squeeze into her tiny house with all of her kids & a few grandkids & enjoy a big feast…..I miss those times.

But I really miss celebrating Thanksgiving with my sister & brother in the same house….my mom & sister would overly stress over the lack of cooperation they felt they were getting from the rest of us, the lack of control they had over everything & situation. My dad & I are the more laid back out of the group & then there was my brother who just hung out in his room & waited to eat & then went into hiding when it was time to clean up…..which of course, was left to the women (namely my sister & myself).

Even though we didn’t get a long much even back then…I still miss being together. But since she had her first kid…..they refused to travel, while part of me understood it…..how can you create generational family memories, if your never with family to make them? Even when she lived near us, she’d rather invite strangers into her home, instead of come be with family & let cousin interact & get a chance to become friends.

then after my brother’s family split up that was pretty much the end of our family Thanksgiving get together’s… my family was left on their own to do their own thing……while it was nice at times not to have to stress over whether or not your cooking would produce good tasting food. I missed my childhood at the holidays.

But tomorrow, we will hopefully be celebrating our first Thanksgiving in our First home (bought earlier this year) with my parents, brother & his kids. I’m excited & nervous & worried.

My house isn’t spit-shined as much as I was hoping it’d be, I forgot to make cornbread for potential stuffing to dry out over night for tomorrow. Not in the mood to make pumpkin pie right now…..so that might be a breakfast task. Forgot to get bacon to have breakfast.

And of course……..we’re broke.

but it’s ok, whether we celebrate with a full house or with just us……I am thankful to have a brand new house, to be able to celebrate thanksgiving and to be in a much better place then I have been just last year.

I still have a long way to go……..but I’m getting there.



I’m Back!!!!

I don’t know if anyone’s noticed that I’ve been kind of quiet. Well, there’s a couple reasons……the main one is we’ve been moving (technically for 3 months) to our first ever buying a home…home. And that has had its own adventures, which I’ll post about later. But the other reason, is because my family has lost my box from my office that had my passwords & other important stuff in it (including the keys to our 2 riding lawn mowers), so since I still can’t locate it & hubby found another (questionable) way to start one of them…..I figured, today was the day to give up on finding my box & just change the passwords & make some other changes & move on.

So…….that’s what I’ve done.

Which seems to be the path that I am on lately, but I don’t want to go off the trail I’m on right now & go off on some other tangent, so no more about changes until later on.

Right now…..I seem to be the only one capable of figuring out what to fix for dinner, so I’m going to come to an end on this post & go dig out some pans to make hamburgers & cut up the left over pork loin so my family won’t starve :o)

Plus, my left hand is starting to really hurt again (must still have some inflammation caused from drinking pop still in my system). So, its time to stop typing & switch to reading for a while, plus, go around & shut all of the windows, its getting cold in here from all the “fresh” windy air.

But…..I’ll be back. I have a bit to share & still have stuff to move from my other blog. :o)

Till we meet again. :o)


Welcome To My Wayward Healing Journey.

This is the post excerpt.

I have another blog site already, but it was intended to go in another direction then where its currently headed, so instead of taking that page away from its intended purpose, I decided to start a different site where I can focus on my journey of healing.

I’ve titled my blog “My Wayward Healing Journey”, because I haven’t gone in a straight line on this journey. I’ve been sidetracked, derailed & ignored my need to heal.

Not because I don’t want to heal, because Lord knows I do, but because I haven’t put myself first yet. So, until I do……..my life as a mom, a homeschooling teacher, homesteader & all my other hats, including that of a wife, take precedence over my pain & healing.

I don’t know if you’ll follow my journey or can relate or have the perfect life. What I do know is this…..We all have our own journey’s to take, we all have a path that we should have followed out of high school or in our 20’s or 30’s or we have path’s that have been forced upon us to take & we got shoved off into another direction that we didn’t plan, choose, want to be on by any stretch of the imagination.

But here we are.

Now what?

Well……for me, I have a couple path’s that I need to deal with & hope I can change the way my current path is on.

I’m going to bring post’s from my other blog to here, they’re about pain, fear, healing, mourning & probably some others.

I hope you will enjoy them (as much as one can when reading about marital issues & emotional pain) enough to subscribe so you can follow, so they’ll come to your inbox.

I am going to get started, but because of life’s demand’s (or in my case appt’s), I won’t get everything moved over today.

Welcome…………and thank you for being here.


Thank You & End of the year

I can’t believe that we’re already hitting the middle of the December, only a couple weeks left after this week is over (Dec 14th).

I can’t believe another year is coming to the end. But I want to Thank all of my followers, I want to Thank all my readers. I love to write, I used to be good at it, but the last 24 years has changed me & not exactly for the best. I’ve changed a lot, it feels like I’ve lost a lot of my gifts. But I’m hoping to find them again & blogging is a start…..I think.

I “thought” that maybe I could create an income by blogging, but one thing I’ve learned is that the majority of bloggers that I’ve come across are not using ‘free’ pages & they are far more talented then I am at setting up their pages. This is my 2nd blog page, but for some reason I can’t set it up like I have the other one.

But that’s ok. It works for now. And for now…..is all that matters. :o)

But if you’ve been getting or stumbling across my page at all recently, you’ve come across a post or 2 where I’ve talked about our new business & I have to say Thank You to my enroller, because I came across their link on LinkedIn & they not only took time to explain the business to me, the company & product’s to me, but they didn’t pressure me into joining. They referred me to a healthier option for the everyday products that we need (shampoo, dish soap, disinfectant, pain relief, makeup, etc), plus 670 Retail partners that I can shop at & earn money back, same if I wanted to take my family out to eat, get fuel or pay a bill. I’ll be getting my first commission check this week & already have one for next month started.

I’ve NEVER ever did a home based business that wasn’t an MLM, referred someone to their personal store, earned a commission, got great products WITH having the ability to earn money to order other products for free or have more then 1 person a part of my team. Now, I have 2 people as a part of my team, I am helping them work towards building their team. It’s awesome.

I physically can not take on a job outside of my home, I can’t stand for long hours, I can’t sit for long hours, I can’t bend over for a length of time, not to mention…..I can’t find a job that would work around my crazy life. I homeschool, I raise livestock, most summer months I have goats to milk, but haven’t had to do that. But we have mild emergency’s, where we’ve got sick animals, injured, dying animals, escaped critters, kids getting sick, parents needing help…what company out there allows you to take off for something as unimportant (to them) as half your goat herd out, or your 600 pound pig getting out & not fire you?

Come join me through cowboywealth…..do it as a business & become your own boss, come work for someone whose not going to make you choose them over your family.

Your income depends on your effort, but it’s pretty limitless if you want it to be. So, whether you only need an extra $300 or $600 a month or whether you want to work towards making $10,000 or more a month. It’s possible.

For the month of December you can join for $1 for a 14 day trial, if you go for broke & make your first order on the same day you sign up (best option) you will receive the Winter Defense Pack for FREE how awesome is that? Ok……I will stop talking about work :o)

Well, sort of………I don’t know how my marriage is going to turn out, but I do know, that I am going to focus on this business…..we’re focusing on it, on the training, on the talking to others about it, on posting ads…together.  If we can get up to the level I’d like to get up to, then it will make it possible to make some of his dreams come true & I can make some of my kids dreams come true too.

What about mine, you ask? Well, part of my dream came true by using buying this property. Now, once I can start bringing in some money on a more consistent basis then what my livestock brings in…then I will finally feel like I’m contributing.  I’ve never not worked for an employer until on & off during the last 24 yrs of my life. Wanting to stay home to be with my kids & give them something that I longed to have as a little kid, put a real strain & struggle on our finances & then you add to it, 2 people not working together & you throw in a few more (constant) obstacles along the way……and it’s a nightmare.

I want my kids to quit being told for simple things…..toys, movies, music, clothes, shoes……….

If you know anyone who wants to increase their income, who can listen, is coachable, is willing to work, has 5-10 hours a week to put into this.

Send them the link & tell them to fill out the form so we can talk. If your bi-lingual, that’s awesome, because you can talk to others that I can’t.

Anyway, I’ve taken up enough of your time…..I have some reading to do, before I go to bed.

Thank you for being here.

Frustration continues……

I have no idea of what to do anymore.

How do you heal from trauma, if your never allowed to talk to the one who caused it or talk about the one who contributed to it? Or how do you know when you’ve kept a promise to the man you admire & loved with your whole being, even though the promise you made on his death bed was before you knew what kind of person the woman who gave birth to you really was? Do you keep going with it despite what she’s done or when do you say……”I’ve done my best dad, I can’t keep her in my life anymore, I hope I haven’t failed you.” And move on?

This is the hamster wheel I occasionally stumble back onto & it reminds me how my life is as long as I’m on it.

Saturday, was such as an awesome day….I referred my very first “cold” contact to a great business opportunity & got her started training. Last month I made the mistake of agreeing with my husband that his mom would be good at this, despite knowing she’s been a cold uncaring fish for 21 yrs. I mean what kind of mother has an affair with a registered sex offender while her husband is in the hospital? what kind of mother steals from her only son? what kind of grandmother  endangers not one grandchild, but 2 by exposing them to this sick bastard?

Then I turn into the horrible evil wife (once again) when I ask why he keeps in contact, when he can clearly see……he doesn’t mean squat to her (after a condescending brush off placating …whatever word you want to use. He keeps in contact with her….and originally chose her over us, because of his promise to his dad.

I GET IT…..I truly TRULY do. But I think he fulfilled his promise when we made the mistake of moving in with her after he passed (my stupid idea) to help her (them) grieve & to help her get back on her feet financially. Which  just about pushed us into bankruptcy. So, shouldn’t that count as fulfilling his promise & it’s paid in full. As that year & 1/2 of being there, helped out greatly, pushed me to have to go find a full time job to help my husband instead of stay home with our not even 1 yr old baby. And if that wasn’t enough, she also schemed to get her landlady to have us evicted.

She is the master liar, manipulator & schemer. I mean she could teach pro’s a thing or 2. But he’s trapped in this promise & it looks like it’ll be that way till she dies. That’s unfair.

Don’t get me wrong….he’s far from perfect, he’s learned a lot from her, but it’s still not fair to continually punish someone. Sadly, it’s frickin’ genetic. Her siblings are just as nuts as she is AND his bio-father (not the one he made the promise to, the sperm donor counterpart) is the same, WITH anger issues (which hubby has) AND if that’s not bad enough, he’s got a daughter from hell (from one of his affairs several years prior to me) & sadly, she’s like his mom.

Course her mom could almost be a twin to his mom, behavior wise…..So you can’t tell me that crap doesn’t get passed through the genes.

But I can’t stand hearing her voice or seeing “I love you SUNshine”….how do you love someone you lie to?

But not only that….are kids argue (normal) pass the buck (normal) & other crap that has been picked up from our overly bad years when they were little. He was a walking time-bomb, come home & blow up, be home & blow up, he & I were out in public & he’d blow up, then he was always putting off I asked him to help with or the kids wanted help with.

And frankly……..they do the same thing…..just thankfully without the anger. Though my 2nd oldest did have a bought of anger for a few years that had me concerned. But the old he’s gotten the better he’s gotten.

When I try to tell him that he can get after them without cussing at them, yelling at them or threatening to get their attention through pain(which in reality is giving them a spanking, but its how he says it that irritates me, my dad was very calm when he was going to give us (mostly me) a spanking)… I’m suddenly the bad guy, because in his eyes I am just blaming him for everything that goes wrong.


It wasn’t me with the anger issues, it wasn’t me with the lying issues, it wasn’t me with the multiple adulterous affairs, it was just me too stupid to leave 21 yrs ago, let alone now.

While he was trying to blame me for everything (again), he did have 1 thing right. He said I haven’t dealt with my issues & he’s right.

How do you deal with issues that someone else has caused when your not allowed to talk about what they did? I mean, I don’t want to relive the sordid details of each affair…..I don’t care. Because there’s just not enough energy or stroking one can give to a narcissistic personality to fulfill his every desire. I couldn’t give him enough praise, I couldn’t have enough sex with him to satisfy him enough (obviously). So….that’s not what I want or need.

I’ll never hear him truly & completely take responsibility for all that he did, for all the pain he caused.

I’ll get a back door responsibility. Meaning….He’ll say I’m sorry for what I did & said to you over the years BUT!! If you (meaning me) would have just done…………..fill in the blank.

So, how I’ve dealt with it, has been by not dealing with it. Not a solution, I can tell ya. So…..he’s right.

The week of Sept 9th was the week he FINALLY stopped texting his whores & it was also the week that I realized that our marriage was dead, there was not thread left to grasp, there was no longer a heartbeat to keep coaxing a beat out of…….it was flat lined.

I didn’t care if he started up again (which is his usual MO) because after realizing out marriage was dead…….before this, I told a friend of mine his decision & how it took him an extra week to stop & then I started bawling as I blurted out “I can’t do this anymore, I just can’t“.  Then once I regained control, I asked her what the heck was wrong with me? I should be happy & relieved he’s picked us, but I’m not. I don’t care that he’s picked us, I don’t care if he goes back to his skanks, I just don’t care. What on earth is wrong with me? She said your in mourning. You realized that your marriage has died. You need to mourn your loss.

Initially, I thought she flipped her lid, but then realized that she’s right, I didn’t care. He could go back at having 2-3-4 skanks he was making plans to screw in person instead of just on the phone, he could move out. I had 4 kids that needed at least 1 sane parent & that was going to be me.

I was determined that I was going to do everything possible to get it to where we bought a house & I did. That first couple was a nightmare of its own. After buying almost my dream home, I was like W…….T…..H…….. was I thinking. Why are we buying a house together when we don’t have a marriage?

It took me a little while to realize that it doesn’t matter. I still have 4 kids to take care of. Grant it, one is 21 & has a job now (company’s may be hiring, but they don’t always need you bad enough to call you). But my job as a mom, is to make sure they always have a place to call home. In 6 years, my youngest will be 18, so between 18 & 25 & be ready to move out, the older kids will be on their own too.

And fingers crossed…we’ll be doing a hell of a good job on this business & we’ll be able to buy my folks’ place & then it could be Hasta la vista Baby(or as my dad says Hasta Winnebago). But I want to have an inheritance for my kids to leave for them after I’m gone. So, I don’t know what I’m going to do in the future.

I do know though……I am NOT to blame for his choices or because his daughter & mother are narcissistic nut jobs too.

Since I’ve held my tears in & refused to cry for long when they’re released…….I think part of what I need to do, is to just let it out. Just go somewhere & bawl my eyes out & not stop until I can’t cry anymore (I almost wasn’t able to stop last night, didn’t want to worry my daughter, so I made myself stop). Then I’ll be ok.

I am not falling back into that frickin’ trap of accepting blame that’s not mine & feel like I’m not worthy of love…….because by golly I am & I’ll find that kind of love again some day….In the meantime…….

I’m just going back to the stubborn, independent, bitch, caring, tempered person I use to be. That means, no longer putting up with someone else’s bullshit.

In the mean time, I have dinner, laundry & apparently an opportunity to help my oldest do his first presentation for his business (he joined us). YEAH!!!

It’s time to learn how to love, trust & be me again ;o)

Thank you for being here & listening to me…even if there’s only a few of you….means a lot :o)


Nothing (to me at least) is as frustrating when starting a new Business as involving family members in it & they  think they know about the business, so they don’t listen to you, but they actually don’t know anything about the business, won’t watch training videos, don’t actually read your training emails & so when they go out to talk to someone about the business….they totally do a hatchet job & put your business in with MLM businesses as being the same thing.

I have yet to have ANYONE explain to me how something can be the same but different.

It makes the situation even worse when it’s your in-law &  you no longer have a good relationship with them because of some really bad things they did, but they need a way to bring in some income but can’t get a regular job because of their age & disability, but you know (or at least your spouse does) they’d be good at this sort of E-Commerce job, because they’ve done networking most of their life & their good at.

BUT!! For whatever reason, they don’t seem to comprehend what your saying, they won’t watch the videos, but they know what to do(even though they really don’t).

I made the effort to talk to the business office to see if there’s a way that she can get the discounts & benefit’s of being a preferred member, even though she can’t afford to do an order. They hooked us up..

Still NOTHING!!!!!

It was “Oh I know, I just don’t have time to talk to anyone (This is I don’t get, she doesn’t work…at all. She’s on facebook, she talks to people all day long for a group she volunteers for….) & I just don’t have the money to do an order (That I get), but the option we gave her. Would have helped her not only make an order for herself, but to also start an income. But nope.

I still have MAJOR issues with her because of what she did to my family years ago & she’s done nothing to change it & spits on every effort I’ve tried to make to appease my husband in HOPES that she’d go back to being the mom he had as a kid & teen. But, Unfortunately, I think this IS the real her & that she was just being someone else while her husband was alive.

But!!!!! She still borrows money from us for various things & we literally can not afford to spare a dime let alone 20-60 bucks a whack, so we thought this would be great for her.

But noooooooooooooooooo, so, we have decided that we’ll give her a chance to back up what she claims about being able to do something after the first of the year & then not worry about it if she doesn’t make an effort.

But it’s so frickin’ frustrating that even after plotting with her landlord to kick us out (her only grandchild at the time), stole money from us (both of what was suppose to cover our half of the bills as well as money I was saving, lied to us, had a registered sex offender around our child, lied about what he was, had an affair with this sicko while my father in law was sick, exposed him to a pre-teen girl MULTIPLE times, after being asked to keep him away) & I still try to help her, despite knowing it kicks me in the teeth every single time. The last time was 15 yrs ago, when we learned that the pre-teen was my husband’s daughter.

None of it mattered to her….that “thing” was more important to her then her only child & only grandchild (at the time)……so, I have BIG issues with her, but want to see anyone succeed & can change their life for the better, even if I can’t stand to be around them.

But, I tell you what……..it makes for an interestingly rocky marriage. So, I bite my tongue a butt load of the time.

Fun fun fun

Wellness Delivered…….

Every month Wellness can be delivered to your home……
Caromom & Myrrh…..Two fantastic Essential oils, with a long list of health benefits. Makes them a valuable addition to your home.
Available in Women’s formula too. Not available in stores & I can’t sell it to you, but you can directly purchase it.

Those are just some of the things that we’ve received just this month. I LOVE essential oils. I use them in our diffuser, in ointment & will be making lotion & liniments too.

My husband & I both have joint issues, he’s got some bone issues, so we thought that we’d get some of this, it also helps with heart health, lowering blood pressure, helps with blood sugar issues, which he also has issues with. So, we’re looking forward to seeing the positive changes.

  I am so excited about being apart of this fantastic company..

We referred 2 members last month, & we earned our 1st check this month. YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You guys have NO  idea how huge of a mile stone this is for me.

I have tried 4 or 5 home businesses, ALL had great products that I truly loved, believed in & that worked.. But I don’t have the family or friend support that is required with those types of businesses, I’m not a sales person that has to talk people into buying a bunch of stuff just so I can have a paycheck.

THIS company (100% debt free whose paid out a lot of over the years-in the high billions) 

Anyway….I’m excited……3 people get enrolled this month & you can get $100 in product……and earn a minimum of $500 of a commission for the month…….awesome……I know i can use it.

It would be a great start for the new year.

SCARED out of my mind

I woke up at 4:30 am & got up sometime around 6…….I prefer to TRY to sleep in till 8……My job doesn’t have a boss.. well, yes, it does….me. But I am NOT a morning person, so I prefer to not get out of my warm, semi comfy bed till 8.

Though I’m usually awake throughout the night & give up by 7:30…..my body doesn’t like to move before 8, but it always wakes me up at some ridiculously early hour……today, no different, except I gave up way earlier.

And I got a surprise in my Inbox this morning…2 (TWO) leads for our homebased business. When I realized that one of them was a complete stranger….I panicked……I mean my heart went into it’s I’m scared to death panick flutter, the pit of my stomach started twisting itself in knots, the fear of failure skyrocketed, my Recruiter wasn’t answering my text fast enough….what the heck were they doing at 6 am, why didn’t they have the volume up on their phone by now? Couldn’t they take 2 min’s out of their work morning to focus on me? I’m new to this…..I don’t know what the heck I’m suppose to do. Does the autoresponder email system work automatically on it’s own as soon as a lead shows up…..I’M GOING TO FAIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOW CAN I FAIL SOMETHING I JUST STARTED!!!!!!!!!!! WHERE IS EVERYONE WHEN I NEED THEM!??????

Yes, I tend to freak out….call what it is…..panic….when it’s something that’s really important to me, that I don’t want to fail at & then I suddenly I feel 100%

I am NOT a natural sales person, I’m NOT a naturally talkative person…..I can’t walk up to a complete stranger & strike up a conversation, I don’t even like it when complete strangers come up to me & start a conversation. My general thought is…..you people are completely nuts to think I want to talk to you…..I don’t even know who you are.

Well…….duh……you won’t know who they are if you never talk to them, right?  Right. Still doesn’t make it any easier.

SO……why on earth would I pick a sales type business to become a part of? Well……good question.

Here’s the answer….They started the business 34 years ago (I would have been 14) they are in my home state (potentially fast shipping), they provide chemical free products for our home & body’s, they provide outstanding bonus’s & compensation, and (to me best of all) they offer  an opportunity to open a trust fund to designate your paycheck to someone you know.

How AWESOME is that? As a genealogist researcher I can look at it as an ongoing inheritance that by the time my great grandkids or even just grandkids can say “Wow, grandma or GG was earning that kind of income at home that long ago? And she could pass it down to us? How cool is that?” The other cool thing is, if you were doing this business & you passed away, not only could you have the trust fund in place, BUT! your spouse or child could have the business transferred to them.

So, if you have a networking guru in your family…….this would be something to leave to them, or get them to sign up under you. Family Legacy.

There’s an individual in this company that’s been in this business for 30 years, his dad recruited him, his grandma was also doing this business until she passed away & she’s still earning an income (I don’t remember if his dad recruited her or how that one work, but his dad is in his 80’s).

For those who like upgrading their car often, you get to an upper level, you earn a car bonus each month. While I live the rigs that we have, I would like the bonus part without having to get a new car (insurance just keeps going up LOL).

I have to get the crew moving……they get up only to sit back down (to watch TV)……hopefully here soon my panic/anxiety attack will go away, so my heart will stop feeling like its being squeezed.

Even though it seems like I’m at ease talking to people…..email, letters & such is easy for me  to do, I like to write (as you can tell by this long winded post LOL), but I panic in person (& on the phone), so much I forget what I’m trying to say……even if I know what I’m talking about, it doesn’t always feel like it.

It’s like first job, first day or new job jitters x 20.

off to make Cinnamon roll Cake (hopefully)……that’s easy peasy :0)